SEPTEMBER 29

Gary will be released from hospital today!
Here was the conversation between Gary and doctor:

Doctor: I see no reason why you can't go home today. Is that good news?
Gary: Sure is.... can I give you a big kiss?
Doctor: Eh... No.
Gary: You sure? I give good kisses... (remember he is on drugs)
Doctor to interns: I think we need to order a new MRI to have his head examined....
Gary: Ok, Ok! No kisses!

So, later this afternoon after he finishes off some infusions, we can leave. We will see his oncologist tomorrow sometime to discuss the next treatment and so forth. I am looking forward to having him home with me! The place we are staying does not have internet ... (how will I survive?!) ... so my postings will be fewer. I will try to post what the doctor says tomorrow before we leave Mayo. We really appreciate the prayers, cards and emails that come our way!

SEPTEMBER 28

Gary had been told that if his levels were better today, then he may be released, so Becky, John, Tracy and I came up early to the hospital only to find out that he had not been able to keep his breakfast down. The doctors want to wait a couple of days. They have ordered an endoscopy for in the morning. His MTX level was .16 and CR 2.4 so they were down, but not completely. It was enjoyable to have family here, especially my daughter, Becky. We were able to share some of our feelings with each other before bed last night and I just wish I had more time with her. As with Brian, Gary wanted time alone to have a heart to heart talk before she left. He told me he will have one with Sandra as well and me. I told him, I want to wait at least 30 more years before he has it with me.

John and Tracy provided plenty of laughs for us and we enjoyed having them here. We appreciate them and other family members that took upon themselves to cover the cost of bringing our van up from OK. We know it was not easy for them.

SEPTEMBER 27

Early this morning I took our son, Brian to the airport to fly back to Georgia. It was very hard seeing him say goodbye to Gary last night. As he was waiting to check in, our daughter, Becky, along with Gary's brother, John and his wife, Tracy arrived in town after driving for over 10 hours overnight. They met at the airport so Becky could see and hug her brother. I was glad for the distraction because it was going to be hard to say goodbye to Brian. I enjoyed having him here this week with me. Becky brought our van along with more clothes and my little dog, Charlie. We went to the hospital this morning to greet Gary before getting breakfast. Good news! Gary's MTX was .16 and his CR was 2.4. The doctors said that if those levels continued to go down tomorrow, then he probably could go home. Not sure when the next treatment will start, but Gary was encouraged at the thought of getting out of the hospital. He has lost more weight (the extra fluids) but has been nauseous all day so has not wanted to eat. They give him a drug for the nausea and it just puts him out completely. Tonight has been enjoyable with John, Tracy and Becky. They have kept me laughing and distracted. Just what I needed. Again.... thank you so much for your prayers!

SEPTEMBER 26

Tonight I will be short. I am totally exhausted. Gary has done better today. He had a very good heart to heart talk with our son Brian before Brian leaves early tomorrow morning. I am very sad to have Brian leave. It has been good to have him here with me. But, our daughter, Becky along with Gary's brother, John and wife will be arriving in the morning to stay a few days. They are bringing our vehicle and what little winter clothes we have. We are definitely not prepared for Minnesota winters! Gary's MTX level went down a small amount to .44 and CR stayed at 4.1. He did lose some weight which means the fluids are coming off. Still no word on when he can leave hospital or the next scheduled treatment. We appreciate everyone's emails, cards and phone calls. They really lift Gary's spirit. Thanks!

SEPTEMBER 25

Gary's MTX level today was .46. His CR 4.1... Still no word on when they will start next treatment or if he will be able to go home. He has been out most of the day because of the drug they give him for nausea. He is tired of being poked and prodded but still teasing the nurses and giving us something to laugh at.... like earlier today, he fell asleep still holding the remote out toward the TV. This past year, I have listened to a song by MERCY ME entitled BRING THE RAIN. I love the fact that as a Child of God, nothing that comes my way or how I choose to handle it, will change who I AM in Christ. I am not saying that I have not questioned God this year. I have told God many times "You know my heart Lord. I do trust You, but right now I just don't understand why You would have Gary go through all this pain and suffering." This song is a reminder that nothing we will ever go through, compares to the pain and suffering Christ went through for us. I want to praise God through the joyful times and the sad times. If you get the chance to listen to this song, it will be a blessing to you.

BRING THE RAIN

I can count a million times

People asking me how I

Can praise You with all that I've gone through

The question just amazes me

Can circumstances possibly

Change who I forever am in You

Maybe since my life was changed

Long before these rainy days

It's never really ever crossed my mind

To turn my back on you, oh Lord

My only shelter from the storm

But instead I draw closer through these times

So I pray

Bring me joy, bring me peace

Bring the chance to be free

Bring me anything that brings You glory

And I know there'll be days

When this life brings me pain

But if that's what it takes to praise You

Jesus, bring the rain

I am Yours regardless of

The dark clouds that may loom above

Because You are much greater than my pain

You who made a way for me

By suffering Your destiny

So tell me what's a little rain

So I pray

Bring me joy, bring me peace

Bring the chance to be free

Bring me anything that brings You glory

And I know there'll be days

When this life brings me pain

But if that's what it takes to praise You

Jesus, bring the rain

Holy, holy, holy

Is the Lord God Almighty

SEPTEMBER 24

Not much change in Gary today. Still carrying alot of fluid, which in turn causes him to be nauseous. His MTX level is .58 and Creatinine (CR) level is 4.1. The Nephrologist said that even though the creatinine did not change much, it is stable and that is ok. Gary's kidneys are strong and producing, so they are not concerned. They will not be coming back to see him. The doctors say he will probably need to stay in the hospital a couple more days. Gary was in better spirits today in spite of the news that he would need to stay longer. We received word that Gary's parents, along with our daughter, Sandra will be leaving the Philippines on October 1st. This will be a hard time for Sandra as she leaves her friends and school. I am looking into curriculum for homeschooling her. It will be good for us to have her home with us. Thank you for your prayers! We appreciate all the notes, comments and emails that we get.

A CARD FROM AN ANGEL

If you have not read my post about Angel's Among us .... then leave this and read that post first. You won't believe what happened today! Towards the end of the day, our nurse came in with medicine for Gary and had a card in her hand. It was addressed:

Gary Phillips

Cancer Ward

St. Mary's Hospital

Rochester, MN

From Harriot Agrimson

We looked at the envelope thinking we have no idea who this person is. When I opened it I was so shocked! It was my angel from Walmart! I didn't even remember telling her our names! What is amazing to me is that if I did tell her, it was just once and she just was guessing what hospital. We are in Rochester Methodist Hospital. Of course, both of these are connected with Mayo so they had our info and was able to forward the card to us. This is what she wrote:

Dear Jeanie,

I met you by the popcorn at Walmart.

I wanted you both to know that our church prayed for you both yesterday.

We spoke the healing power of Jesus into your Gary.

Psalm 107:20 promises us

"He sent His Word and healed them, and delivered them from their destructions."

We will continue to pray and believe with you folks.

Love in Jesus,

Harriet Agrimson

Just know we love you and are crying out to the Lord for you

So, my "angel unaware" is a real person, but still an angel to me! I looked on mapquest to see that Harriet lives about an hour from here. I hope to meet up with her again some day! Oh, and another thing.... because our nurse stayed in the room giving Gary his meds while I opened the card, I was able to share with her what had happened in Walmart. It gave us the opportunity to share how God has blessed us with people praying for us!

SEPTEMBER 23

Gary is still struggling with all the extra fluid build up and has had some trouble breathing so back on oxygen. He did not lose any weight during the night, in fact, gained 4 lbs. of fluid. That was a little discouraging for him. The good news.... his MTX level is now 0.77! Bad news, creatinine 4.3. It is not a large increase from yesterday, but still shows that his kidneys are struggling with all the extra fluids. Today was hard on him as far as keeping his spirits up. He is still struggling with the nausea and just tired of being poked and prodded. :D His IV once again messed up, so they were going to have to redo it and this would have made the 7th time this week. They always struggle to find his veins and it is never a pleasant experience for Gary. So, they made the decision to put in a PIC line . They allowed Brian and I to stay in the room as they did it if we wore mask and of course did not touch the sterile coverings. It was pretty amazing how they go about it. This will stay in him for as long as he needs treatment, so no more putting in the IV's every few days. We appreciate all your prayers and the emails and phone calls we get. So wonderful to be in the Family of God. I cannot imagine going through this without other believers encouraging us through their words and deeds and lifting us up in prayer! We are so blessed!

SEPTEMBER 22

Gary woke up today feeling better, but as the day progressed, he began to feel worse. He is still carrying extra fluids, (he gained 30 lbs. from the fluids), but did lose some weight today. The doctors seem to be taking it in stride and do not act like it is unusual. The good news... his Methotrexate (MTX) levels are at 1.03. The bad news.... his Creatinine levels increased to 4.1. Last night, our son, Brian flew in to see us. We have not seen him since Christmas, so it has been fun! He will be able to be with us until Saturday.
Today, I read a short devotion from Charles Swindol's Insight for Today. He has been sharing about Job and the trials he went through and how Job responded to those trials. Today, he wrote a short poem of sorts and I thought I would share it here.

God's purpose is unfolding, and I cannot hinder it.

God's plan is incredible, and I will not comprehend it.

God's reproof is reliable, and I dare not ignore it.

God's way is best, and I must not resist it.

SEPTEMBER 21

Gary started the day feeling a little better in spite of still being puffed up with fluids. If he keeps up, I will need to buy new pajamas for him! His Methotrexate levels have gone down to 1.6 which is great, but his creatinine once again increased to 3.2. Since the MTX levels are down, they are stopping the IV fluids and will give a diuretic only to see if they can get the fluids off of him. I went to church this morning with the couple that have opened up their home for us. It was a real blessing and I am excited to know there is a good church to go to. Our son Brian flew in this evening and will be able to stay a week. I am so happy right now! This will be good for Brian, but also good for Gary. While I was picking Brian up at the airport, Gary went for a walk and met up with Donna and Louie whom I mentioned yesterday. As they were talking, Gary said something about the grace of God. Louie paused and looked at him and asked if he was a Christian. Gary told him yes and that we were missionaries in the Philippines. Louie said, "Well I knew there was something different about you. You're countenance is just different." Wow! That is exactly what we have talked among ourselves about. We want others to see God's grace manifested in us! Gary ended up praying for Louie in the hallway and Louie turned to his wife and said, "How neat is that!? I come here to get prayed for by a missionary who came from the Philippines." :D They will be leaving the hospital tomorrow, but I am sure we will catch up with each other another time. Just been in the hospital a week and already God has blessed us with fellow believers to fellowship with!

SEPTEMBER 20

Today, Gary has felt better.... at least able to keep food down. His body is still swollen with all the extra fluids. His creatinine levels increased once again so they called in a Nephrologist (kidney specialist). There is some damage to his kidneys from the methrotrexate. The plan now is to go back to using a diuretic but also at the same time push the fluids through, so there would be a constant "flushing" of the kidneys. Hopefully this will work and along with that bring the creatinine and methotrexate levels down. At this time, they said he would probably have to stay in the hospital through the weekend. Remember that I said this type of lymphoma of the nerves was very rare? Well, today I was approached by a woman named Donna who we have seen walking with her husband up and down the halls as Gary and I do... each men pushing their IV poles. :D She had heard from another couple that we have talked with about Gary's diagnosis, and wanted to let me know that her husband Louie has the SAME diagnosis! Imagine that! Our doctor told us that Mayo has only seen 5 cases before Gary. We compared the symptoms and both men have progressed the same way. Louie had lost the use of his hand as well, but now it has come back. That was such encouragement for Gary to hear! We just praise God how He brings the right people at the right time to encourage us! We plan to get together tomorrow so the men can talk to each other. And guess what Donna and Louie do?... They work for the Gideon foundation! So, I am sure we will have some good fellowship as well.

ANGELS AMONG US????

I wanted to do a separate posting of what happened to me tonight. Last night I told how I didn't have to pay for my parking and it reminded me that God would take care of our needs. I left the hospital this afternoon to do some grocery shopping and laundry and then planned to go back to the hospital to spend the night there with Gary. As I was shopping in Walmart, trying to decided which kind of microwave popcorn I wanted, I noticed an elderly lady with her cart just watching me, not really shopping for anything. I just kind of laughed and made a comment that I can't decide and started to walk away. She struck up a conversation with me and I ended up sharing about Gary. She had tears in her eyes when I talked about his nerve pain, stating that in the past, she had something in her face and could really empathize with that kind of pain. We talked for a little more, then out of the blue, she reached across and placed her hand on my arm and just started praying for Gary and me out loud. It was such a sweet, comforting prayer and I really felt the presence of God. There I was standing in Walmart, tears running down my face as this stranger ministered to me. When she finished, I hugged her and thanked her for doing that for me and told her how much it blessed me. We turned to go and I said, "God just led us both to this aisle at the same time" and she responded, "It was Divine intervention". I smiled and left the opposite way thanking the Lord for sending someone my way like that. As I went around the corner, a thought hit me and I circled back to see if I could see her again. I walked past every aisle on my way to the cashiers looking for her and never saw her again. I would never say for certain that she was an "angel unaware", but for sure I would say that God did send her my way tonight to comfort me. "Thank you, Lord for Your unexpected ways of showing me You love me."

SEPTEMBER 19

Gary has had another hard day. Started out early this morning throwing up and he hasn't been able to keep things down since. The nurse says it is probably due to the fluid that is building up in his abdomen. The levels of creatinine stayed the same as yesterday (2.3) so at least they did not increase again, but should be at .6. The level of Methotrexate decreased almost by half! Down from 7.2 to 3.5. So that was very encouraging. As I said earlier, the hospital will not release him until the MTX levels are .01. Ultrasound of kidneys showed no blockage and xray of lungs showed no fluid build up on them. He has been able to be off the oxygen since this afternoon, but his levels are a little down so they put him back on for the night. The doctor said that the next treatment, they may lower the dosage somewhat, but stated that using the high doses of Methotrexate was the only thing that would work for this type of cancer, so hopefully Gary's body will adjust to it and they can continue as planned. Gary is a little discouraged today. He knew this was going to be a rough road, but thought it would take a few treatments before he would be feeling bad. We do appreciate everyone's prayer for him. He told me today as we were walking that he is humbled by the emails and phone calls that have come in expressing love and concern.

SEPTEMBER 19 / 12:17 am

I left the hospital around 10pm and headed to our new place to stay. Since I rented a car for the week, I was going to have to pay $12 for today's parking. As I left and headed for the ticket booth. There was a sign that the attendant was unavailable and the barrier was up allowing me to pass without paying. I laughed thinking that even in little things, God is supplying our needs. As I left the hospital, I met a lady whose husband is being treated for esophageal cancer. They have been here for six weeks and the treatments have made him so sick and have brought on other symptoms. She said that this evening, they discussed how much longer he would live if they stopped treatments and what she would need to do when that happened. As with us, they came to Mayo never expecting a cancer diagnosis. We exchanged names and I offered to pray for her husband. I don't think it was a coincidence that I left the hospital at that time and met her walking her little dog. I plan to leave a note for her at her hotel and maybe get the opportunity to share God's love with her. Please join me in praying I will have that opportunity. I went to our new place and began to unpack our things and get settled in. It just seemed like an eternity away from Gary at the hospital and I could not bare to stay, so got dressed, packed up my things and headed back to the hospital to spend the night with him. When I was staying across the street, I could handle leaving him but this just seemed so far away. Just need to be near my man! :D

GOD'S BLESSINGS!

When we found out that we would need to stay in Rochester for possibly the next 6 months, I started looking around for a place to rent. Right away, I realized that it would not be an easy task to find a two bedroom furnished apartment in our budget. Most extended stay type hotels want $3000/month! We have been staying in a hotel for the last three weeks, so we're under the gun to find something. A few days ago, I received first a phone call from a pastor in town that had received an email from our fellow missionaries in the Philippines, Lloyd and Edith Baker. He said they would be praying for us and have someone come to visit. Then later in the day I received a call from a lady saying that she was a member of this church and that if we needed a place to stay, she had a place. I went today to meet her. The Penz Family have a beautiful home located on a small lake. They have a separate guest suite with outside entrance for us to use complete with kitchen. Plus, an extra bedroom that any of our guest would be welcome to use! They are 1 mile away from the hospital where Gary will be. All of this free of charge! God is so good to us! You can now use this address:

Gary Phillips

C/O 1442 Salem Lane SW

Rochester, MN 55902

SEPTEMBER 18

Gary had a rough night last night. His body started collecting fluid on Tuesday so they put him on a diuretic. This caused his creatinine levels in his kidneys to increase, so they took him off that and have been trying to just increase his IV fluid intake to help flush out the Methotrexate. He is building up too much fluid in his body which caused him to have trouble breathing during the night, so now he is on oxygen. His creatinine levels increased more today. They have scheduled an ultrasound of his kidneys this afternoon to check for blockage. Even if the kidneys are ok, the levels of Methotrexate are still high in his body, so more than likely he will not be dismissed from the hospital tomorrow. Appreciate your prayers!

THANK YOU!

Thank you for all your prayers for Gary and our family. We have received emails and phone calls from all over the world! Some from friends and family, some from old friends that we have lost contact through the years, some from strangers who have seen this site. What a wonderful family of God we have! I appreciate the comments left on this blog as well. I can't respond to everyone, but want you to know we are so blessed by the words of encouragement! Gary received his first treatment late last night. They had to make sure his body was at a certain alkaline level before even starting. The plan for now is to give a high dose of Methotrexate. After 24 hours, they will then give Leucovorin, which is basically a high dose of folic acid to get rid of the Methotrexate. They have to monitor his urine constantly to make sure the drug will not damage his kidneys. He will not be released until the Methotrexate is out of his body. Then, he will have a week off and come back in to start over. He is feeling better than he has for the last 3 weeks. We believe it is because they gave Prednisone with the treatment last night. The steroids seem to help the pain in his eyes. Every once in awhile I will post some pictures of Mayo Clinic complex, surrounding buildings and Rochester countryside. Pretty soon the leaves will be changing and that will be beautiful.... but cold!

IT IS WELL WITH MY SOUL

When Peace like a river, attendeth my way

When sorrows like sea billows roll

Whatever my lot

Thou has taught me to say

It is well, it is well

with my soul

I chose this title for Gary's blog for several reasons. The main one being that it has always been his favorite song. The other is for my own benefit... to remind me, that no matter what the future holds for Gary, without a doubt, he and I know that it will be well with our soul.

After being in severe pain for almost a year now, slowly losing the use of his hand and then trouble with his eyes, on September 11, 2008, Gary was diagnosed with a rare form of lymphoma of the nerves, called neurolymphomatosis. Mayo Clinic has only seen 5 cases of this disease. Because of this, we will be staying here in Rochester, MN for his treatment.

Gary will go into the hospital on Monday to start treatment. Until I have a chance to talk more with the doctors, I am limited on my knowledge of what is going to happen.

I decided to make this blog so it would be easy for family and friends to find out what is going on and save me from repeating news. This does not mean I do not want friends and family to call or email, it will just help to give out information on the medical side so our conversations can be saved for news of home and how good God is.

And He is good. I am not happy with the diagnosis but I do know that we serve a mighty God and He is able to give me the grace and comfort when I need it. We have already received so many wonderful emails and phone calls from friends and family around the world that are praying for Gary. How wonderful is that!

This weekend, Gary's sister Tina flew up to see us. What a blessing that was. (Thank you Tina!) Having just received the diagnosis, it would have been a hard weekend for Gary and I. Having Tina here was just the distraction we needed. We took a drive to the Mississippi River and had a wonderful day viewing the countryside. Even though it was hard on Gary, he wanted to get out before being put in the hospital.

Monday morning, Gary will see two different eye doctors. Then he will see his doctor and be admitted into the hospital to start treatment. He will have to stay in the hospital for a week. Have a week off, then back in a week, etc. This will not only be hard on Gary and I, but for our family and especially our children. Becky and Brian will not be able to be near us at this time since we are staying in Minnesota. At this time, Sandra is in the Philippines and will be travelling back with Gary's parents in October. Please keep them in your prayers as well.

Thank you for your prayers! You can reach me at 918.814.7184 or email bamaw5@yahoo.com.ph