OCTOBER 30

Day 7 for treatment #3 and Gary is still very sick. I was sure hoping that today would be different and give him some relief, but none has come. His MTX level is .6 which is great and his CR level finally started downward at 3.2 at the end of today. The doctors say he will probably be in hospital two more days. Once again, Gary has not been able to eat anything all day. He tried to drink some clear broth this afternoon and after a few sips, it all came back up. We appreciate your prayers so much. I can't imagine what Gary would be going through without them.

OCTOBER 29

Not much has changed for Gary today. He is still extremely nauseous. This afternoon, he was able to keep down a Starbucks Strawberries and Cream Frappuccino. Not sure if that is good advertisement for Starbucks or not. His Methotrexate (MTX) level was down to 1.13 which is great, but his Creatinine (CR) stayed at 4.2. Please pray specifically for his kidneys, that they will start to function properly and we will see a vast improvement in the morning!

OCTOBER 28

Gary had another hard day keeping food down. He was pretty miserable, but at least he was not like the last two days..... not knowing where he was or who I was. His MTX level dropped to 1.8 but the CR is 4.3 The Nephrologist is watching him closely. He is still on oxygen and because his hemoglobin was down, they gave him 2 units of blood. I feel for him when he is so nauseous, but very thankful he is no longer delirious. We appreciate your prayers!

GRACE

Several months ago, when Gary was going through a particular rough time with pain, a fellow missionary sent me a devotional, written by Charles Swindoll from his daily INSIGHT FOR LIVING. Since that time, I have subscribed to this devotional. It amazes me, how many times, what comes to my inbox, is perfect for what I need that day. Today was no exception. It was on GRACE. The first paragraph caught my attention right away... "This is a good time to correct faulty thinking. It is not always God's will that you be healed. It is not always the Father's plan to relieve the pressure. Our happiness is not God's chief aim. He doesn't have a wonderful (meaning "comfortable") plan for everybody's life---not from a human perspective. Often His plan is nowhere near wonderful. As with Paul, His answer is not what we prayed and hoped for. But, remembering that He is forming us more and more into the image of His Son, it helps us to understand His answer is based on His long-range plan, not our immediate relief. Thankfully, in the midst of that suffering, He gently whispers, "My grace is sufficient for you" (v. 9)." ... To read the rest of the devotional, go to http://www.insight.org/ and see it on the upper right. And to go along with it, I have added one of my favorite songs by Phillips, Craig and Dean.

"Thank you Lord, for once again reminding me that Your grace is sufficient. Thank you for 'bringing back' today, the Gary I know and love.'

OCTOBER 27

Last night, after I arrive home, I called Gary to check on him. Since he had been out most of the day from the drugs, I wanted to make sure he was doing alright. He acted very strange on the phone and kept saying, "Just get here". So I drove back to the hospital to spend the night. Gary was in bad shape throughout the night and this morning. He started talking very strange and at times could not answer correctly where he was or what year, etc. He would ask me questions that did not make sense at all and then get angry when I would not give him the answer he was looking for. He was not himself and I knew it was the drugs causing the delirium. I did not sleep all night, wanting to keep an eye on him. They had to put him on oxygen because his breathing was so shallow. Then, around noon, like a light switch turned on, he was back. He has been able to eat a small amount of jello then cereal tonight and keep it down. His MTX level dropped further to 3.9 but his CR moved up a little to 4.5. They took another blood draw this evening, but the results are not back at the time I am writing this. If his Creatinine levels do not start to drop tomorrow, there is a good possibility that they will have to do a few dialysis treatments. This will not be something he will have to continue in the future. It will just be done to help his kidneys. Because his Methotrexate levels dropped considerably, they are postponing using the drug they brought in from England. I am so thankful for all the prayers offered up for Gary and myself. We definitely needed them! Gary is so much better this evening and I feel we have made it through the worse this time around.

OCTOBER 26

Gary has had another bad day. He cannot keep anything down and the anti-nausea drugs put him to sleep. His nurse commented that other nurses asked if he was sick because they did not see him walking around giving everyone a hard time. We all would like to see him get back to himself. The good news.... MTX was 6.8. Bad news ... CR 4.3. This is what is making him so sick. Hopefully, the CR levels will have crested and begin to fall tomorrow along with the MTX. We received so many emails this weekend and what a blessing to know that churches all over the world were mentioning him in prayer! Thank you so much!

OCTOBER 25

Another rough day for Gary... worse than yesterday. Sure hard to see him suffer! He was very sick today and could not eat in spite of anti-nausea drugs. This evening, he managed to eat a few teaspoons of jello and take a walk down the hall. Gary's MTX level was 19 this morning! His CR was 3.8, so they called in a Nephrologist. When she arrived, she told Gary that the doctors thought he might need dialysis, but she didn't think so. The doctors have ordered a different rescue drug from England that may do a better job of getting the MTX out of his body. Later in the day, the doctor on call, came in to check on Gary and I asked what caused the MTX to be so high. They are not sure. He said, "It is alarming". They normally only check these levels once a day, but did do another check later this afternoon and the MTX did go down to 7.9, so we are very relieved about that. His CR didn't change much so still a concern. The drug from England will not arrive until Monday. Gary's parents are driving up and should arrive very early in the morning. This is hard on all the family, especially for them to be so far away as we go through this. We appreciate all the calls, emails and comments on Facebook and this blog. Even though Gary was not able to talk much of the time, he appreciated the calls. We are comforted to know that people all over the world are praying!

OCTOBER 24

Gary had a rough day today. His Creatinine (CR) increased to 2.8, which caused him to be very nauseous and sick. They started the rescue drug this morning, so the CR should start going down. We have had several emails, phone calls and comments on the blog recently and they all encourage Gary. Helps him to know people are thinking about him and praying for him. Even the off-handed comments are welcome. He needs the laughs. So, thanks to all of you who write and call!

OCTOBER 23

Gary received his third treatment early this morning. He was feeling pretty good today, just tired from being kept up during the night and a little nauseous. His creatinine improved since yesterday before coming into the hospital. Went from 1.2 to .7 which is normal range. Once again, the doctor reduced the dose of Methotrexate to 50% to make sure his kidneys would be ok. Later this evening, one of the lab tech personnel came to check his pH level. This guy has talked with Gary before and remembered him. He asked Gary how he was, and Gary told him the good news about the PET scan yesterday and how the treatment seems to be working. Gary then said he is not looking forward to the BMT, because he knows he will be very sick. The tech said, "You'll do ok.... you have a great outlook on life". Things like that do so much for Gary to boost his spirits. To know people watch him and take notice how he reacts to things encourages him to stay positive. Today, we had a special visitor... or should I say two special visitors. Steve and Jenell Bender made a special trip to see Gary. For those of you who may not know... Steve is on staff at our missions office, Baptist Bible Fellowship, Int. To have them visit, was a special blessing to us and we thoroughly enjoyed our time of fellowship today.

OCTOBER 22

GOOD NEWS! This morning, Gary went in for blood test and another PET scan. The doctor wanted to see if the treatment was showing signs of working before continuing further. As the doctor entered the room this afternoon to tell us the results, he was beaming from ear to ear. It was great news! The scan showed that a significant amount of the cancer was gone! We asked to see the scan and he showed a side by side comparison. It was unbelievable! The area of Gary's brachial plexus that lit up the screen before was barely noticeable. Even to our untrained eyes, we could see the difference! In our previous meeting with our doctor, I sensed a reluctance in him to give any kind of prognosis. Today, he seemed so hopeful! He told Gary, "I guess God's not finished with you yet." That probably was the best thing we could have heard! Gary is still not "out of the woods", but at least we know the treatment is working. We sat and talked for an hour today about the next procedure they will do, which is an Autologous Blood and Marrow Transplant (BMT). They will take Gary's blood cells out of his bone marrow, freeze them, zap him with high dose of chemo, then put his cells back in. This is a very serious procedure and will make him very ill before he will get better. They plan to start the procedure the last week of November or first week December. I will write more about the BMT later. We are just so relieved to know the method of treatment is working and we are seeing the cancer disappear. I truly believe we have seen these results because of all the prayers that are going up around the world on Gary's behalf. Thank you so much for daily praying for him.

PS. Gary will start treatment #3 tonight. Doctor is keeping the dose at 50% like last treatment. He does not want to do anything that will cause his kidneys to act up again. They will not do the transplant otherwise. Pray that Gary will do as well as he did last time.... out in 4 days!

AT THE CROSS

This morning I listened to this song by Hillsong. I think everyone should listen to this at least once a week to remind us of God's love for us!

"Thank you Lord, for dying on the cross for me and loving me in spite of who I am. Thank you for knowing me and what I need. "

OCTOBER 19

Gary felt a little bad today... just worn out from his road trip yesterday. Even though we did not stay out long, he just doesn't have the strength that he used to have. Becky and her friend, Andy returned back to Oklahoma today. We appreciated Andy and Becky making the long trip to bring Sandra home. We really had an enjoyable weekend getting to know Andy better and spending time with our two daughters.

OCTOBER 18

Today, Gary thought he felt good enough to get out and do something. We decided to drive to Minneapolis/St. Paul and visit Mall of America with our daughters Sandra, Becky and Becky's friend Andy. The countryside was beautiful with the trees turning all shades of red and gold. We did not stay long at the Mall.... just enough to ride one roller coaster and eat lunch.... Oh, and get ice cream at the Cold Stone Creamery! We had a very enjoyable day, but it wore Gary out. He is feeling ok, just does not have the energy to do this sort of thing right now.

Last night, as I was rubbing lotion on Gary's feet, I noticed that he is starting to lose his hair from the chemo treatments. Instead of starting to lose it off his head, as I thought would happen... he is losing it off his legs. So, in loving support of him, I have decided to shave my legs........

OCTOBER 17

Our daughter Rebecca arrived this morning with Sandra. She had a surprise for her Dad. Becky had ordered wrist bands with "It is Well with my Soul" on one side and "God's Grace for Gary" on the other. Gary was so surprised and blessed by this. Becky wanted to do something that would help us with our extra expenses of being here at Mayo and having to set up an apartment. At the same time, to have something others could wear in support of Gary.

If you would like to order one,you can contact Becky at

rlynn0217@yahoo.com

$5 each

OCTOBER 16

Gary is doing good after leaving the hospital. He is tired and weak, but that comes with the treatments. Yesterday morning, we ventured out to have breakfast with Gary's parents as they were leaving town. It was a blessing to have them here with us. Gary's Mom, Sue, has been through her own health issues with Non-Hodgkins Lymphoma. As I mentioned in an earlier post, Gary's doctor wanted to meet and talk with her concerning this. She ran down a list of her family who have had either Leukemia, Lymphoma, which are similar, or another type of cancer. Her Mother, Father, herself, 3 brothers, 1 sister, 2 nephews and now Gary have had the same large B cell Lymphoma, or another form of cancer. This was enough for Gary's doctor to make an appointment for Gary to see the Genetics dept. next month. They will be interested in doing some testing to see if there is a family connection. This will be scary, but informational/preventive news for Gary's siblings, our children and grandchildren. This week, we received a book on meditations written by an old friend. This morning I was flipping through it and this title caught my eye.

WHAT CAN HE WITHHOLD

"He that spared not his own Son,

but delivered him up for us all,

how shall he not with him also freely give us all things?"

Romans 8:32

The author wrote, how that if God gave his only son to die for us, and created this earth and is the God of the universe.... how easy it would be to give us what we need. Emotionally, spiritually or physically... no matter how big or small it may be. Even to un-sting physical death, because He has destroyed spiritual death. In the past, I have counselled with young women many times, concerning the want for a child. I have often said, "God only wants good for you, so at this time in your life, it must not be "good for you" to have a child. You need to just be patient and trust God." Wow! How those words come back to haunt me now. It is not as easy as it sounds coming out of my mouth. ha! I am trying everyday to be patient and trust God. To rely on the promise that He knows me and whatever goes on with Gary, He will be there with me. One of those young ladies in the Philippines, wrote me this morning. She said, "when i was taking the latest pictures that i took i was thinking about you...if God can make the flowers bloom so beautiful i know God will make something beautiful on what is going on with sir Gary..."

I don't think this is a coincidence... that I would happen to read this particular devotion, and on the same day, receive this message from someone on the other side of the ocean. God wanted me to know that He will supply our needs, whether financial, emotional or spiritual. Whatever comes out of this terrible illness Gary is going through... it will be something beautiful for others to see.

OCTOBER 14

Gary had a good day yesterday resting and being home. He is able to sleep so much better away from the hospital.... imagine that. He did wake in the middle of the night sick, but seems to be fine this morning. We said goodbye to Brian and Kristina yesterday. It was a real joy to have them with us this weekend. This is our second time to be around Kristina. The first time, it was with her only, as Brian was in Iraq. Brian picked a real sweetheart and we are so pleased.

Gary and his mom, Sue Phillips, will be seeing his doctor this afternoon. Dr. Patrick Johnston is involved in research to see if there is a hereditary connection with lymphoma. Since Gary has the same large B cell lymphoma as his mother and several of her siblings as well, the doctor wants to meet and discuss it with her. It will be interesting to see what comes out of this research.

OCTOBER 12

GARY LEFT HOSPITAL TODAY!!!

Gary called me early this morning to say he would be able to leave the hospital. I could hardly believe it! The lowering of the Methotrexate and increase of the rescue drug really worked well for him this time. His level was .07. So, after church, all of us rushed up to the hospital to get Gary before going to lunch. I was already thrilled about him not seeing double any more, but as we were leaving the hospital, Gary told me to look at his left hand. He could move some of his fingers! He has not been able to do this since March. Gary has been concerned that he would never get the use of his hand back, so even though this is just a small movement, it was very encouraging. I am so relieved that he made it through this treatment without such damaging side affects. We know it is all because of so many around the world praying for him. This has been a wonderful weekend with family. Tina had to leave today and Brian and Kristina will have to leave tomorrow. Gary and I really enjoyed having them here.

During Gary's last treatment ... Gary's favorite team, Dallas Cowboys, played against Kristina's favorite team, Philadelphia Eagles. Ever since Brian married Kristina, this has been a joke between Gary and her that if he had known the Eagles were her favorite team, he would not have allowed Brian to marry her. Last Christmas, Kristina sent Gary an Eagles hat as a joke and so Gary sent her a Cowboy tshirt while she was in Iraq. Whenever these two teams play, whomever's team loses, they have to wear the hat or tshirt. Since the Eagles lost, Kristina had to put on the tshirt for Gary. We are so thrilled that Brian married a sweet girl that knows how to joke around with our family. We have not been able to spend much time with her, so this weekend has been alot of fun for us. God has truly blessed us.

OCTOBER 11

Gary has done so much better this time around. Lowering the dose of Methotrexate kept him from being so sick. He weighed today what he did at check in and has not been on the diuretic for 24 hours. His Creatinine was .9 so all this means that his kidneys are doing much better and handling this dosage. The biggest blessing is that his left eyelid is up and he is no longer seeing double. It is still hard for him to read and his eye wants to jump around a little, but for the most part, he is able to focus. Brian came home last night and commented how good it was to see his Dad doing better this time around. Gary is tired tonight, but feeling good. He enjoyed spending the day with everyone and watching football.

OCTOBER 10

This morning, I drove to pick up our son, Brian and his wife Kristina at the airport. We went directly to hospital to see Gary. As we came off the elevator, we saw Gary speed walking down the hall! During the last treatment, when Brian visited, Gary could barely move because of all the fluids, so this was a pleasant sight for all of us. The doctors have ordered him to be weighed every 6 hours and if he gains more than 2 kilos, they give him a diuretic. Gary is doing very well so far. His creatinine was 1.4 at check in on Wednesday and today it was 1.1 so we are happy about that. Two hours later, I drove back to the airport to pick up Gary's sister, Tina. We all spent an enjoyable afternoon visiting with Gary. Gary really wanted to feel good this weekend with all the guest and so far he has accomplished that. He was pretty worn out this evening, so we left early to let him rest.

Gary with his parents
Brian and Kristina
Tina showing how to read faces
Gary's parents, Bob and Sue Phillips with Kristina

OCTOBER 9

Gary received his dose of Methotrexate late last night. Because he had suffered acute renal failure during the last treatment and his kidneys were not completely back to where they should be, the doctor lowered his MTX dose by 50%. He was feeling ok today, just tired. As before, Gary immediately started gaining weight from fluids. This time however, they were quick to start him on a diuretic and by the end of the day, he had lost some of that. Please pray that he will not have as difficult a time with his kidneys this time around.

STEPS OF A GOOD MAN

When I arrived in the hospital room this morning, Gary had some tracts sitting on his table, a scripture written down on a notepad that he plans to memorize and his Bible next to him. A few minutes after settling in, my Father-in-law pulled out his Bible to read with a pen, ready to mark scriptures. It brought back memories of my own Father, who for as long as I can remember has started his day by reading God's Word and praying. What a wonderful testimony this simple act is. None of these men are doing this as a show, and yet, others see and take note. I am reminded by the verse in Matthew 5:4 "Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father, which is in heaven." Yesterday, Gary and I received an email from a young lady that had visited us in the Philippines several years ago. She thanked us again for allowing her to stay with us and how we had impacted her life, even how our relationship to each other taught her things that she wants in her own marriage someday. I am not telling this to brag on Gary and I, but to remind each of us, that the things we do every day... just living our life... shows our Faith. We don't have to do anything spectacular.... just live a life God would have us live and our "light" will shine.

OCTOBER 8

Gary saw his oncologist today and 30 min. later was checked into the hospital to start his second treatment. His creatinine levels were down, but not where they should be, so they will lower his dose of methotrexate 50%. They hope by doing this, it will not affect his kidneys like before. This is a real concern since he did have renal failure with the first treatment. Yesterday, we moved into our apartment. It is nice to have our own place, we just don't have furniture. ha! We bought a bed and a sofa for now and will try to get other things later as we go. Gary's parents arrived in town today. They will stay while he is getting this treatment. They brought with them many cards from people in the Philippines sending their love and encouragement to Gary and I. We had so much fun reading them all. God has truly blessed us with many friends!

NEW ADDRESS

Here is our new address:

Gary Phillips

1728 Quarry Ridge Place N.W., #309

Rochester, MN 55901

OCTOBER 6

Today we came back at the hospital for Gary to do blood work. He was told to do it twice this week, then he would see his doctor on Oct. 14th. When he awoke this morning, he said he had been short of breath through the night, so we stopped in at his doctors' office after getting the blood work done to ask them if they should check his blood oxygen levels. To make a long story short, there had been a miscommunication between the hospital and the doctors' scheduling nurse. He wanted to see Gary in a week, instead of two weeks as they told us. So now, he is scheduled to see the doctor on Wednesday of this week and more than likely go into the hospital for the second treatment. Gary is doing fine, except for a few days of fatigue. He wore himself out last week, making his hospital visits, so had to slow down. The place we have been staying is nice and we have been so thankful to have it, but we have made the decision to find our own place. There was not a room for Sandra and it was for short term stay and not for the period of time we need to be here. We will be having family visiting us as well, so good to have a place for them. God has blessed us with finding a place that is less than 5 min. from the hospital. It has a shuttle service which will be nice for me when the weather is bad and also save money on the downtown parking. We will also have internet so I will be able to keep the blog up to date. We have had so many people from all over the world write to say they are reading it. Words just can't express how much we appreciate everyone's prayers! We are still in shock and some days it is hard to get our mind wrapped around it, but we just keep reminding ourselves to take it one day at a time. Your words of encouragement help us so much! Thank you!

OCTOBER 2

We are back up at the hospital today but not because of Gary. Gary is feeling pretty good today. Yesterday, we had to come to Mayo to have blood work done and as we were leaving the hospital, I received a call from a young girl whose husband had received a bone marrow transplant. Luwella and I became fast friends sharing with each other about our husbands. Her husband Bill is a Baptist pastor in Michigan. They have two girls, 2 and 7 that they have had to leave with friends for over two months now. Bill is just 36 yrs. old and Luwella 28. Luwella called to tell us he was having a hard time and so we said we would come back up to see him. After visiting awhile, Gary prayed for Bill and then immediately Bill prayed for Gary! Too funny to see two preachers still wanting to minister to someone! We left their room and as we went to the elevators, I told Gary we had to stop on the 7th floor because I wanted a diet pepsi from the vending machine. He teased me about my addiction, but agreed. As we were getting my "drug of choice" we noticed Marge sitting off to the side. Marge and her husband Bob were on our floor the first week Gary was in the hospital. She said that when Bob came back in for another treatment the day before, he told Marge, he needed to look for Gary and started walking up and down the halls. He was getting his treatment and sleeping, so we told her we would come today. We spent at least an hour and half with Bob today. He wouldn't let us go and was so thrilled that we came by. For me, as a pastor's wife, I understand how hard this year has been for Gary, not to be able to preach and minister. For those of you that are preachers, you can understand. It was such a blessing to see how God brought opportunities to Gary, to be able to do a part of what God has called him to do, in between the days he was receiving medical treatment. "Thank you Lord, for giving us these opportunities."

OCTOBER 1

Gary has been out of the hospital for the second day and it has been wonderful. Yesterday, we took a short walk in the neighborhood. The air was crisp and cool and leaves on the trees are starting to change. It was lovely. Gary made the comment that it was so nice to be outside walking. I said, it was nice just to see him walking! Today, we are back at the Clinic (and Internet) for blood work to be done. When he left the hospital, his creatinine levels were still up so he will need to be checked for that twice a week until we see the oncologist on the 14th. The dismissal summary from the hospital related all that was done the two weeks he was there. At one point Gary had acute renal failure. That was a shock to me. We knew at one point he was bad and his kidneys were struggling, but did not realize that they considered it to be renal failure. This is the reason they are waiting two weeks before he sees the doctor and has the second treatment. His kidneys need to heal. The summary said that they would probably lower the dosage of the methotrexate for the next treatment. Which, in my mind, means we will probably be here longer than 6 months. So, we will enjoy our two weeks together and pray that the next treatment will not be so hard to go through. We appreciate so much the prayers and encouraging comments, phone calls and emails.