DECEMBER 30

Gary saw his doctor this morning and we received bad news. The cancer has progressed further and is now in his cerebellum. There are no other options, but to do more of the Methotrexate treatments.

They admitted Gary to the hospital today and will start to give him heavy amounts of fluids and sodium bicarbonate to prepare ahead of time for the MTX. Hopefully, by doing this, we may avoid the toxic effects of the MTX on his kidneys. They also called in the Nephrologist ahead of time. The Nephrologist have started the paperwork for the rescue drug out of England that they started to use during his last treatment. They are trying to anticipate ahead of time any problems Gary may have with his kidneys.

As written in previous posts, this drug has wrecked havoc on Gary and his kidneys and we have almost lost him twice, so he is in much need of your prayers as he goes through this.

Gary asked his doctor if he was going to beat this. Dr. Johnston said he would do all he could to make sure he did. He said that if he did not think Gary had a chance, he would be calling hospice right now, but he still feels there is hope. He said he would be offering extra prayers for Gary and then later asked us to pray for him as well.

Please pray:

*For Gary's physically healing. That he will not have complications with the MTX treatment and he will get relief from the pain.

*For his emotional well being. That he will be encouraged and will be strong and not give up in this fight.

*For me, as I care for him, to stay healthy and strong, both physically and emotionally.

*For our children and other family members. Our son Brian just left to go back to work and is on the road travelling today and tonight with his wife. Gary's parents and our daughter, Becky will be travelling tonight from Oklahoma and other family members may be travelling this week, so please include them in your prayers for their safety.

*And, for Dr. Patrick Johnston and his team of doctors. That God will give them wisdom in dealing with Gary.

DECEMBER 29

Gary started the day very sick and has stayed that way. He had to go into the hospital for a MRI, so I have learned to carry around a Ziploc bag just in case. The pain in his head is back to being severe. My heart just goes out to him. We will see his doctor in the morning, so hopefully it will be good news and maybe we can discuss the pain issue further. Brian and his wife, Kristina will leave early in the morning. We have enjoyed having them here for the holidays. When you pray for Gary, please include them in your prayers as they will be driving back to Georgia. Thank you for praying and for the cards and emails that we get. We appreciate it so much!

DECEMBER 28

Gary started feeling the pain in his head early this morning and has not felt good all day. He does feel that the increased dosage of Morphine is making a difference, so hopefully the pain levels will not be as bad as they were last week.

It is hard to calm my heart knowing what the last week was like for Gary. I just pray that it will not be so bad this week. A verse that came to my mind this evening was Philippians 4:6,7 ...

"Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God. And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus."

Another version says, "Do not be anxious about anything". Ok... alot easier said than done! But this will be my goal for the week. I am so thankful for the many who are joining me in "prayer and supplication" for Gary.

DECEMBER 27

Gary has felt pretty good today, at least pain wise. The day after the Rituxan treatment is always a good day for him. It sure gives him something to look forward to when he starts feeling bad later in the week. Thank you for praying for him!

DECEMBER 26

Gary finished 4 hours of treatment this morning and did well. He is beginning to look forward to this, knowing that he will be pain free for a few days. I did notice this morning while getting started with his treatment that he has some swelling on his right cheek bone. I commented to the nurse and she mentioned that she also noticed swelling above his right eye. Since this is the area where the Lymphoma has showed up, I am concerned as to what this swelling could be. The nurse said I should just watch it and if it increases, to let the doctor know. If it is still there in the morning, I will call the doctors anyway. Once again, I want to express my gratefulness for your prayers for Gary and our family. It is a great comfort to me to know that we have people praying all over the world.

DECEMBER 25

MERRY CHRISTMAS! We want to thank all of you for your prayers and words of encouragement for our family! God has truly blessed us with wonderful friends... old and new!

Gary's pain levels were manageable today and he felt alot better. He will go for another treatment in the morning and if it goes the same as before, he should be pain free for a few days after that. Thank you again for your prayers! I means alot to Gary to know that so many are praying!

DECEMBER 24

Gary has tried to put on a good front today, not wanting to spoil any of our celebrations, but I know he has been in alot of pain. Today, was our daughter-in-law, Kristina's birthday. We gave her presents and surprised her with a cake at noon to keep her birthday separate from Christmas Eve. Gary joined us for a time and then went back to bed. He came back out for us to open presents tonight, but was not able to stay up for long. I knew that he has been experiencing numbness on the side of his face along with the pain in his head, but I didn't realize the extent of his paralysis until this evening. He really struggled with getting his medicine taken.

This has been a sad Christmas for us, and tonight I was talking to the Lord about how hard it was for me to see Gary suffer and how I didn't want to share any of this on the blog because this is the season for JOY and I did not want to put a damper on everyone else's happiness. Then, I checked my email one last time before going to bed, and there was an email from a friend that said just what I needed to hear! At the same time I was voicing my fears and sadness to the Lord, she wrote:

I’m writing to let you know that on this Christmas Eve, I’m thinking of you and Gary and praying that in the midst of cancer, pain, and sickness, you both will feel the presence of God, once again rejoicing in the miracle of His birth. I pray that the medicines will work, that the pain will be alleviated, and the sickness will stand still for a few hours so Gary can have a joyful Christmas – and you can have some peace, seeing that his face isn’t grimacing with pain.

Sometimes you may feel that no one is praying at “this particular moment,” but that’s the joy of being partners with many others as we pray together for a common cause – and right now GARY IS OUR CAUSE. Just know that you are loved and are in our prayers once again this night.

Wow! God gave me a special reminder just when I needed it the most... that He is present... He knows how I feel... He spoke to someone else's heart to prompt her to write these words.... knowing that it would bring the comfort I needed tonight.

I know we have so many friends and family praying for Gary and appreciate it so much. I can't imagine what he would be going through if it wasn't for those prayers!

DECEMBER 23

Gary has continued to have severe pain and nausea today. After a restless night, I called the doctor to see what we should do. The nurse said she would give the message and get back with me. Shortly after lunch, she called to say the doctor on call wanted me to bring Gary into the emergency room so they can make sure there is nothing more going on. We spent over three hours there as they administered a higher dose of morphine, called Fentanyl. It was fast acting and took the worse of the pain away, but only stays in the system for an hour, so they administered it 3 times. Gary is home, but still not pain free. Hopefully, this stint in the emergency room will help take the edge off of the pain and he will be able to rest tonight. He does not want to be admitted in the hospital, so will try to manage the pain as much as he can. We appreciate your prayers so much!

DECEMBER 22

My heart is heavy tonight. I had hoped Gary would continue to have good days this week as we celebrate Christmas, but if today is any indication of what is in store for him this week, then it will not be good. He has been in terrible pain even with all the pain meds. In the past, he would get some relief except for 30-45 minutes of every 4 hour period. Today, he has been pretty miserable all day. He needs your prayers!

DECEMBER 21

Today Gary has felt pretty good ... compared to last week, it is like night and day. He started to have pain in his head, but the increased dosage of the Morphine was taking care of it. Please pray with us, that it will continue to do so. Gary felt well enough to get in some exercise as well. He walked up and down the hallway and even some of the stairs a few times. This may not seem like much, but it has been over a month since he felt well enough to walk up and down a hallway. Our son, Brian and his wife Kristina arrived today and will stay until the 31st. It will be good to have them here with us for awhile. Thank you for your prayers!